Carrie Loves Guns — Episode 05, the series finale
Episode 05 · The finaleEvery fact sourced

Carrie Loves Guns

Her first love in Austin. Her longest. And the one the Hill Country's kids live with every school day.

Read the record
Comal ISD, 2026–27 budget
–$28M

The shortfall in her district's largest school system, adopted June 2026. The same session sent $1 billion toward private school tuition.

A note before the finale

The first four episodes were romantic comedies. This one isn't. On May 24, 2022, a gunman killed 19 children and two teachers at Robb Elementary in Uvalde, seven months before she took office. Nothing here makes light of that. The jokes stay aimed at the record.

The Representative
Carrie Isaac

Her 2023 gun bill became law. She calls schools "target rich environments."

The Suitor
The Second Amendment

Loyal, well-armed, never asked to carry insurance. She made sure of that.

The Ones Left Waiting
Public Schools

Comal, Hays, Wimberley, Dripping Springs. Bigger classes, deficit budgets, a bond on the same ballot as her.

She called schools "target rich environments." Her answer was more guns in them.

The story in seven scenes2023 – 2026
01
Session one, 2023

The first gift

Her HB 3137 bars cities and counties from requiring gun owners to carry liability insurance. Its stated purpose: head off a San Jose-style ordinance. Governor Abbott signed it in 2023.

02
February 2023

"Target rich environments"

Her school-safety idea: HB 2390, banning polling places on college campuses. "I believe that all schools are target rich environments," she told KBTX. She planned a second bill to keep voting out of K-12 schools too. Critics, including students, called it voter suppression. She said young Texans could vote off campus; her son had, twice.

The danger at school, apparently, was the ballot box.

03
May 2023

The families at the door

Uvalde families came to the Capitol nearly every week asking for HB 2744, raising the age to buy semi-automatic rifles from 18 to 21. The Robb Elementary gunman bought his rifle days after turning 18. A House committee advanced it 8 to 5. It never got a floor vote. An identical amendment was tabled 81 to 60.

What passed instead was HB 3: an armed person on every campus, who can be a school marshal or district employee. "This is a huge win for the safety of our children," she said.

04
Spring 2023

Closer, closer

She told KUT she was drafting legislation to expand the school marshal program, which lets certain school employees carry firearms inside K-12 schools. Fewer ballots on campus. More guns.

05
April – May 2025

The billion-dollar ring

SB 2 sets aside $1 billion for education savings accounts: about $10,330 per student in the first year for private school tuition and other expenses. The House passed it 85 to 63; only two Republicans voted no, and she wasn't one of them. The governor signed it May 3, 2025. It launches in the 2026–27 school year.

A new house for the kids who can get in. The old one still needs a roof.

06
May 2025

"Are you deaf?"

According to Reform Austin, citing a video that spread on Instagram: during public testimony at the Capitol, a Moms Demand Action volunteer recited the names of the Uvalde victims, and Isaac asked her if she was "deaf." The advocates' reply: they wouldn't have to keep repeating the names if lawmakers had raised the age.

07
2026

The bill comes due

Comal ISD adopts a budget with a $27.99 million shortfall, citing state funding that hasn't kept pace with inflation. Hays CISD cuts $12 million; elementary classes may grow from about 25 to 27 students. Its spokesman: the basic per-student allotment didn't rise from 2019 to 2025, and the 2025 infusion "just wasn't enough."

$1B
Starting budget for private school savings accounts, the largest day-one program of its kind.
$12M
Cut from Hays CISD's budget for 2026–27, with enrollment past 25,000.
0
Floor votes the House held on raising the rifle-buying age, 2023.
$567M
Comal ISD bond on the Nov 3 ballot, including safety and security.

Her side of the aisle

Law-abiding gun owners shouldn't face a patchwork of local rules. An armed officer on every campus protects kids now. Parents deserve to choose their child's school, and the money should follow the student.

The parents' side

Uvalde families asked for one change and never got a vote. Arming more adults isn't the same as keeping guns from the wrong hands. And a billion dollars for private tuition lands while local districts cut staff and grow class sizes.

The series finale

Five loves. One ballot. November 3, 2026.

Water, servers, rooftops, rock, and the schools in between. Carrie Isaac is on the ballot in House District 73.

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Independent parody and commentary made by a private citizen. Not paid for, authorized or coordinated by any candidate, campaign or political committee.